ON THE WRITING OF TIGER EYE

...Afterwards, other tigers will appear:
the blazing tiger of Blake, burning bright;
and after that will come the other golds—
the amorous gold shower disguising Zeus,
the gold ring which, on every ninth night,
gives light to nine rings more, and these, nine more,
and there is never an end...
~ Borges

This was the poem that inspired Tiger Eye. It was one of those inexplicable events, where you read something, and the story just comes to you -- or at least, the big events do. Some of the characters just sort of invited themselves in -- and who am I to tell them what they can and can't do?

***

So in August of 2003 I decided to write a book. I had just graduated from law school, the specter of practicing law loomed, and like a wimp, I realized I just wasn't ready to spend the rest of my life doing something I did not absolutely love. So I said, "Okay, I'm 25 years old. Let me do this first. I've got plenty of time for everything else afterwards."

I don't mean for this to sound cocky -- and I certainly wasn't feeling cocky when I decided to give writing a chance. It's just that I was finally giving myself over, completely and utterly, to a lifelong dream, and when you do that kind of thing, it has to be with everything you've got.

So I wrote. I read a poem by Borges that just...got my mental juices flowing, and I sat down one morning and began. I wrote. And I wrote. And I didn't stop writing until one month later, when Tiger Eye was finally completed. To say I was obsessed would be an understatement. I felt like my brain was on fire, and all the words coming out were the water.

Don't get me wrong -- the first draft of Tiger Eye was crap. But it was my crap, and the first novel-length work I had ever finished, and I was determined to at least try and make something of it. Crazy, insane -- I cannot even begin to describe my agony and self-doubt. But for some reason, I just kept pushing. I revised Tiger Eye, and it took about two months before I was comfortable sending it out.

Rejections returned. And I was like, "Okay, that's natural." And then I got more rejections. And I was still like, "No problem." I mean, I was really crazy. I was a walking basket of D-E-N-I-A-L. And yet, there was this little voice that just kept telling me to keep sending this thing out. I force-fed myself a cheerful attitude, and mailed and mailed and mailed. Mind you, I was sending stuff to the slush piles. Query letters, first three chapters, the kind of thing that usually offers a rat's chance in hell of success.

My parents were living in China at the time. I went to visit them. One day I checked my voice mail in Madison, and there was this message from Dorchester Publishing. The message said (as best as I can remember): "Chris Keeslar liked your first three chapters and wants to see the rest of your book."

I flipped out, but for a short time, only. I'm an optimist, but I like to temper my inner Pollyanna with a good dose of practicality. When I got back to America, I sent the rest of the book. And then I tried to forget about it and I went to Clarion East, which I had been accepted to about a month or two before. In case you don't know about Clarion, it's considered one of the best writer's workshops in the nation for scifi/fantasy. Loved my experience, and I learned a lot.

But here's the good part: second week in, on the day before my birthday, I get an email from Chris. And the rest, as they say, is history.

Which doesn't mean everthing is now easy -- absolutely not! This is hard work. Don't let anyone ever tell you different. When I'm in the groove, I work at least as hard as I would if I was practicing law. But this is a lot more fun. And my commute?

Just ten steps. In my pyjamas.

Heaven.